Cuz My Knot Won’t Fit

No one on the corner gotta bop like this
Can’t wear skinny jeans cuz my knots don’t fit
No one on the corner gotta pocket like this
So I rock Roc jeans cuz my knots so thick
You can learn how to dress just by jocking my fresh
Jocking jocking my fresh
Jocking jocking my fresh
Follow my steps, it’s the road to success
Where the niggaz know you thoro
And the girls say yes 
- Jay Z (Swagger Like Us)

Why HAVE skinny jeans become so popular these days? Isn’t it meant for women?   Skinny jeans “the style” is all the rage now, but it’s associated more with women’s fashion than mens. The skinny jeans look on men is tied usually to rock stars and heroin chic because well, these dudes are really skinny. Can the skinny jeans style look good on the average guy?

Girrrrrl, his pants are tighter than mine!”
“Why are dudes dressing like females?”
“Only men who are celebrities can wear skinny jeans and people will say that stuff looks cute”

If you’ve been keeping up with hiphop culture (or even pop culture) for that matter, these are some of the thoughts I’m sure you’ve been having lately. And if you haven’t, I sure have. Trends in fashion typically are a reflection of what is going on in the world at that moment in time, and one must wonder what is happening in our world that is provoking designers to promote, and consumers to consume, fashion that is neither specifically male or female.

Personally, I think, “Why torment me so?” Can you picture construction dudes, your mail man, or even the company I.T. guy in skinny jeans? Uh, no. I don’t think I even want to see Brad Pitt or George Clooney in a pair of skinny jeans.

As a red-blooded male, I can’t think of anything worse than wearing skin-tight denim, which merely serves to highlight your chicken legs, as well as your overly large feet. Also, isn’t it tight on the package? How uncomfortable must THAT be?  When you wear skinny jeans, every single bulge of any kind will stick out like a sore thumb, and well, men have equipment ladies just don’t have. Guys, give the snake some room to slither and stick to the loose and relaxed styles.

Clearly it must be, as the latest trend is for guys to wear it really low, basically hanging around their ankles. What’s this?  It’s pure madness is what it is.

“You know how many people came at me, calling me ‘gay’ cause I wear my jeans the fresh way? …That sh** is disrespectful.” – Kanye West

Anyone who knows me understands my love for Kanye. I believe he is innovative and refreshing in an industry where absence of thought seems to be celebrated. And I appreciate Kanye’s penchant to unapolegetically verbalize his thoughts. However, Kanye is experiencing the effects of a culture that has embraced delicacy and more feminine ways, and not everyone is ok with it.

Kanye brought to light the connection between representation and truth.
On its face, men are no longer required to represent themselves in hypermasculine ways. When men are not visibly representative of their stereotyped masclinity, they are labeled in ways that question their heterosexuality. I don’t agree with labeling someone solely based upon how they look, but at times it’s hard to ignore what appears to be the obvious. When a man is undoubtedly effeminate in his appearance, perceptions are created.

I am no queer eye for the straight guy, but I do see that men are embracing their femininity, and the tight jeans are just a small example of that. Still, some men are going a tad bit too far with trying to toe the line of “I’m straight but I don’t act like it’. More and more men are adopting social behaviors and styles of dress that are so borderline, so sexually blurred, that the lines between heterosexality and homosexuality, male and female, are no longer drawn clearly in the sand, and the fear of crossing back and forth over them is no longer as prevalent.

For years, entertainment culture has tried to include everyone, straight, gay, or in-between. But in recent years, with the rise of metrosexuality, heterosexual men are seeing their masculinity compromised.

Pick up any high fashion magazine, or specifically, the American Apparel clothing catalog, and you’re likely to see men posed in ways that are clearly geared toward the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered) community. Once considered “hardcore” rappers are proudly sporting nut-hugging pants that would give any woman a crazy yeast infection.

Rock-pop-emo stars such as Steven Tyler publicly express their love for eyeliner, flat-irons, and nail polish. Oh, and let’s not forget how often Will Ferrell kisses other men in his movies, but is in a hetero relationship. What is all of this wanting to promote? And why are heterosexual men the newest targets?

So, I ask you enlightened folks a few questions: If androgynous clothing styles are stereotypically considered to be more “gay-friendly” than “hetero-friendly”, why are heterosexual men being encouraged to believe that it’s cool or trendy to adopt these types of fashion choices? Like I questioned above, what are these messages sending? And, “are these just trends… or are people using this as an excuse to show their true colors?”

Guys, let’s nip this skinny jeans thing in the bud. It’s embarrassing, and makes my tummy feel funny.