If a wikipedia page opens up for Cilla K the introductory paragraph will describe her as a vocalist, beat maker and songwriter based in New York. Her sound combines jazz, soul and hip hop and R&B that comes across as a mix of massive attack meets floetry. After taking a good listen to this French-West Indian’s first full album Fine Line(released April 2, 2010),you can expect a little bit of everything-which could be a good or bad thing depending on your taste. Her back story is as eclectic as her music.

Born in the French West Indies (Guadeloupe), Cilla was accepted by Sarah Lawrence College where she was a History major and also doubling as a model in New York. On her way to a casting call, she ran into David Pattillo, a producer/writer in NYC, and a great collaboration was born. The two have been working together over the past year and have since brought on board such collaborators as Julius Bervine (Floetry, D’Angelo, Common), Clay Sears (Jill Scott, Vivian Green), Danny P. (Joss Stone, Robbie Williams), and Mr. Khaliyl (Da Bush Babees, Talib Kweli). So we have a History major, model, singer, and she produced 7 out of the 15 tracks on her album-if you are reading this MARRY ME.

Honestly I had to take a couple of listens to really get into the album. I am not a fan of people who do everything on their album. I like my gravy with my mashed potatoes, but then again some people like Chinese food with fried chicken. Go figure. but there were some promising tracks like “Future” and if the track tells us anything about the future of cilla K we will be hearing more from her in the future.

Suggested Reading:
Fine Line Review by Terrence Lathan

First off let me start by saying that I have the highest expectations possible for ‘Good Ass Job’ (Def Jam 2010 *fingers crossed*). Not because I thought ‘808’s And Heatbreak’ was a cluster-fuck of burning trash, I (for one) actually love(d) most of it. Not because Ye’s “rapping again”. Not because of the rumored all-star cast of artists contributing to the album, including the likes of Dwele, Pete Rock, DJ Premier, QTip, Officer Ricky, Symbolyc One, and a host of others (maybe Hov. probably Hov.) My expections are high because, well, he’s Kanye…
So although it’s pretty absurd to even review a song that may or may not be finished, may or may not be mixed, hell, may or may not even be on the album, there are so many triumphs as well as pitfalls here, so many read-between-the-lines’ AND in-your-face’s, that I can’t NOT. Because well…he’s Kanye.
Plus I’ve been waiting on this for like, months so…
The dichotomy within this song is so hard to ignore, similar to the duality in his own character. (see: Gemini. Twin. Or Aries. Most times, ram, sometimes, lamb.)

Example…

He reminds you that he can’t REALLY rap…

“…they say / I was the abomination(?) of Obama’s Nation…” Errrr. What??

“….my furs is Mongolian…” Uhhhhh, what??

He reminds you that he really CAN rap…

“…I just needed time alone, with my own thought/got treasures in my mind, but couldn’t open my own vault…” Brilliant.

“…Reality is catching up with me/ takin’ my inner-child, I’m fighting for it, custody…” WOW.

Is this a love letter from Kanye TO Kanye??

“…ion’t need yo p#ssy, bitch I’m on my own d*ck…”

“…he knows/he so/ fucking gifted…”

Or a suicide note??

“…I was drinking earlier, now I’m driving…”

“…Now this would be a beautiful death (Jumpin’ out the window)…”

Or should ANY of this be even taken literally??

?????

A tad bit on the self-conscious and reflective (in its own way) side for a guy presumed *COUGH* to be a self-absorbed ego maniac…right??

Managing to cover the past 18 months in under 5 minutes, (the “break-up”, the introduction of Amber Rose, the VMA stunt/relapse, the cry for help that is the ‘Run This Town’ verse, ect.), “Power” is actually quite the lightning-in-a-bottle. And a breath of fresh air, considering that the song reflects how he FEELS, and feeling is what fuels creativity. Not just rhyming because you can rhyme good.

Simplicity?
Complexity?

Doesn’t matter. It’s about the FEELING. And even WITH the inception of Aubrey Graham, when was the last time you could tell how a rapper FELT in a song?? Sure how ‘Ye feels may be clouded by all that Riesling he drinks (LOL), or a few light-skinned girls and some “Kelly Rowlands” (im not mad, have you seen Kelly lately?), but at least it’s HONEST.
SO honest in fact, that Kanye may actually have the third best performance on HIS own song, following Symbolyc One one the beat, and then Dwele on the chorus. Big drums, big guitars, big sample, big beat, big chorus. Oddly enough, Ye’s lyrics are overshadowed by the music, and for a guy who’s presumed *COUGH* to always push himself to the forefront, he’s essentially playing a supporting role on his first post-hiatus offering??

Hmmmmmm.

Not to mention that (DON’T LOOK AT MY FACE) B.E.T Awards performance….

Hence, “You got the power to let power go??”.

His raps could stand to be louder, noticeably ,and although they’re still mostly filled with the witty narcissism and chuckles we expect, they are overshadowed by the music. Could it be the mix?
Possibly. But I think there’s more to it than that. Purposely.
As soon as he starts to get respect as an emcee (Graduation), he ditches emceeing (808’s). He acts like he doesn’t really give a fuck, obviously he does. “Power” seems to be a mixture all of Kanye’s previous works, only now with the notion that he’s not the underdog anymore. And although the song doesn’t give me chills (yet), I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Swagtastic, but at a price…

I have a mean swagger (fine I couldn’t think of a better descriptor)… A vain statement, possibly, but I’ve earned the right to say it. I have lived outside the traditional standard of beauty since I was knee high to a grasshopper and have never failed to be reminded of this fact, whether it be from school mates, well meaning family members, or abusive boyfriends. The first time I recall being called fat was in 5th grade, by one of the popular boys, I suppose if one can be popular in elementary school. Actually, I remember bringing those comments up to that boy once he became a man and decided that he loved women with curves like mine, upon him asking me out on a date. He apologized by the way, however I still chose not to go out with him. Actually, I have been called fat, chubby, big boned, thick, chunky, voluptuous, big fine, buxom, and more recently a thick snack ( a term brought to my attention by the lovely Huny Young whom I adore) to name a few terms. I wear all of them like beautiful scarves, or scars, I’m not certain which one exactly, but I wear them nonetheless. I would be remiss in not acknowledging that being assaulted with such adjectives has led to quite a few tears, some depression, and certainly many insecurities. They have also led to an exceptional pursuit of knowledge (I suppose in response to being “unpretty”), a Cum Laude degree, a burgeoning writing career, and a mean-head held high-arched back walk. I have had absolutely no choice but to accept myself and love myself, despite what society says I’m supposed to look like. It was either self acceptance or misery, and “I love myself when I am laughing” (thank you Zora Neale), so I choose the former.

It all started on twitter…

For the reasons mentioned above, and for the mental illnesses that have sat beside them- you know the thoughts of suicide, bulimia, red pepper diets, promiscuity, et. al.- I am extremely sensitive about how unrealistic beauty standards affect women, and how we sometimes unconsciously perpetuate them. So, I admittedly have a few ruffled feathers after reading replies to this twitter post from Harry Allen today. Harry and his tweeps were discussing Common and Queen Latifah’s new film “Just Wright” , where Latifah’s character and her best friend (played by Paula Patton) pursue the same man, who is played by Common of course. I immediately asked if the twitterverse was implying that Latifah wasn’t believable as Common’s love interest because she was deemed as not being attractive enough. After a few responses it appeared that most men, and a few women, agreed that Common (Scott) choosing Latifah (Leslie) over Paula Patton (Morgan) was unrealistic, which puzzled me for a moment because I find both women to be stunning.

Pretty for a big girl…

In chatting with a friend about this twitter conversation, I was confronted with a statement that made me pause. She said, “But Latifah is just as beautiful as Paula Patton. She’s really pretty for a plus-sized girl.” Full. Stop. Heart. Drop. I may have gone a little left on my sister-friend. See, this is where those insecurities surface along with my common response to them, a flippant mouth. Commenting that someone is attractive “for” “fill in the blank with dark, big, and otherwise not Beyonce”, is akin to saying that one is not really attractive at all. At the end of the day one is either desirable or she is not, adding clauses is reductive and therefore not really a compliment at all. This, of course, from the woman who has often been described as “pretty for a big girl”. I can speak on it. It is still hurtful, whether one acknowledges it or not.

The bite and the antidote…

Like a Black cop who racially profiles while on patrol and objects to being racially profiled while driving in plain clothes, I am also guilty of a bit of hypocrisy and mildly dissing Latifah. After reading Harry’s tweet I thought, “as if a man isn’t capable of judging a woman on more than looks.” Wait…what? Me implying that Scott chose to date Leslie instead of Morgan, still maintains, somehow, that Latifah is less attractive than Paula, which is not the case. The two women are certainly a different lovely, but lovely nonetheless. I shared this observance with my girl Genine (@moreandagain on twitter), in response to this tweet from her. Umph. I’m nobody’s consolation prize. As a matter of fact, I can recall telling a lover once, “Listen, if I’m not what you want, I’m what someone goes to bed and wakes up dreaming about. Let me find him. Don’t waste my time.” Extra, possibly, but I get it in exactly like that. I’m not sure I even believed that statement when I spoke it, but by speaking it then, and many times since, it has become my affirmation, manifesto, and reality.

Get it how you live…

I wondered after reading Harry’s comments, and the multiple cosigns from his male followers, how many of them really wish they were strong enough to choose a Latifah over a Paula? How many of these men are closeted thick snack lovers, dreaming of amply breast, hips, thighs and bottoms to get lost in? I bet a lot. As a matter of fact, trust me when I say more than they, or the model types they run around with pretending to desire, would like to admit to. In New Orleans, one of my favorite cities in the world, the locals use a phrase called “get it how you live”. It is a term that translates to mean one should live guilt free and in the moment. I was waiting for one of my male followers to reply to me by saying, in honesty, that he would have made the same choice as Scott. I haven’t received that reply, but I haven’t checked my direct messages either, as there may be a few replies hiding there *smirk*. Yes, I used the word hiding because many hide their true feelings and desires as they can not fathom living outside the societal standard. We love the comfort of boxes even if we pretend to abhor them. It is unfair to expect a person you desire, care for, or love to live in a shadowy place because you lack the courage and strength to express that desire, care, or love openly and freely. I’ve been hidden, it was so harmful that to this day if I have an inkling of a feeling that someone does not freely and openly desire or love me, I remove myself from the situation, even if it hurts me to do so.

*Thick snack shrug*…

In the end, I believe that the acceptance of the curves that make this sultry size fourteen has made me audacious. I don’t love my body every day, but I do love it most days. I also love it enough to spark conversations about body acceptance, and well, acceptance over all. I don’t take issue with personal preferences on any level. However, I don’t agree that it is unbelievable for a man to love a woman who looks like Queen Latifah over a woman who looks like Paula Patton. I also don’t believe that many people realize making such statements serves as justification for some woman somewhere to vomit up her dinner in an effort to look more like Paula. As thoughts and words become things, we need to realize that it is rarely ever just harmless talk that we engage in, *thick snack shrug*. I’ll keep on sashaying, converting the non-believers, and asking questions. Here are a few as a matter of fact:

What are your thoughts on the idea that a Latifah could never end up with a Common?

What are you insecure about?

Have you been told that you are pretty for a __________?

How can we promote body acceptance, and acceptance over all?

via NewsObserver

It’s time for me to rant about something that’s been on my mind for a long time. I would like to spend a few moments opening up about people who get on my last nerve, people I try my best not to smack upside the head when I see them in public.

That’s right, I’m talking about pretty people.

Beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, attractive – whatever you wanna call ‘em, they make my jaws tight. Yes, I’m prejudiced against pretty people. I’m usually an open-minded guy, respecting people of all races, religions, creeds and sexual preferences. But if you happen to be pretty, I got no love for ya.

A while back, I wrote about why I don’t like Sarah Silverman without bringing up the major reason: She’s too pretty. Funny women aren’t supposed to be pretty! They’re supposed to be neurotic nerds or loudmouth pit bulls! Less attractive people work their whole lives to be funny just so they can get people’s love and attention, and here comes a pretty, foul-mouthed girl like Silverman swooping in and taking all that love and attention away from them with her cute, little, provocative jokes. It’s not fair, I tell ya!

As you’ve probably guessed, pretty women get my disdain. And not just pretty women, but pretty, young women. And not just pretty, young women, but pretty, young women who don’t know anything.

These days, it seems that many pretty young girls are just coasting on their looks, a camouflage for ignorance and inexperience. If there’s anything we’ve learned from MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” it’s that being sexy and stupid will get you very far in this society.

Yet pretty men are worse. What’s with all these guys who are prettier than the women they’re with? I know people get all excited about adorable dudes like Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron and Justin Bieber (who is making little girls cry on YouTube, by the way). But grown men aren’t supposed to have perfectly coiffed hair. Get a crew cut or something, fellas!

Not too long ago, talk-show host Craig Ferguson talked about another of my complaints. “Beautiful people aren’t allowed to be talented,” he said. “People get very angry when very good-looking people are talented.”

Ain’t that the truth. I respect George Clooney, Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet for making offbeat choices as actors. But, man, why do they have to be so good-looking? Not only that, they’re decent human beings to boot. Why must they rub their photogenic good-naturedness in my face?

I can’t fault these genetic freaks when it’s simply our culture’s fascination with beauty and perfection that designates them as the cream of the human-civilization crop. We are inundated with images of unattainable beauty: Beauty sells everything. I’m pretty sure if someone took a photo of a bikini model hovering over an AMC Pacer and plastered it on billboards across the country, guys would be trying like crazy to get their hands on one (the Pacer, that is).

The pressure to be beautiful can hit all points of the globe. Argentina is where painter and English teacher (and my former high school newspaper editor) Paula Lifschitz , who calls herself a former pretty girl, lives. She says Argentina has a tough beauty standard for women.

“Most of the girls get boob jobs, lipo and face-lifts, and they are all really skinny,” Lifschitz says. “So it makes meeting a guy who is interested in me almost impossible.” She says it’s hard for her gal pals to keep up. “Some girlfriends of mine fast every few weeks here in Buenos Aires,” she said. “They don’t eat food for, like, two days.”

Wow, is it really like that for the women of Argentina?

“Well, no, they’re American! But maybe that’s what they have to do to compete with the Argentines,” she said.

I’ve been raving like a bitter, lonely, ugly madman, but you have to admit that the importance of prettiness is getting out of hand. This is how our culture is: Beauty and prettiness are deified and cherished, while flaws and imperfections are damned and condemned.

But I like men who look like men, ugly cusses who look like they’ve been in a bar fight one too many times.

I like women with belly fat and stretch marks and bullet wounds and C-section scars. I also like women with craters and dents and wrinkles. That shows character – it shows they’ve been kicked in the butt by life!

Pretty people may rule, but it’s the regular-looking folk who keep everything going.

craig.lindsey@newsobserver.com or 919-829-4760

So apparently, everyone from German news sites, to Black men pedaling books, has the remedy to the issue of Black woman singlehood. It has become quite a market, this idea that Black women are desperate to mate and are unfortunate in doing so, apparently because they need “fixin”. The latest ploy appears to be a book entitled, “The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can’t Find Good Black Men” by Jimi Izrael. The premise appears to be that women want a balance of wealth, good looks, and success, amongst other things, and that we look for this special balance that doesn’t exist in real life. I haven’t had an opportunity to read the book, and I won’t go into the manner in which books such as these are mercilessly damaging the esteem of beautiful women who imagine that, because they are single, there is something wrong with them.

I don’t know that I identify at all with the single story that is being produced, displayed, projected, and shouted from the rooftops about Black women being beat into defeat by the S word. As a matter of fact, many of the women I know are happily single, and if more knew the work that went into long term relationships and marriage, I gather there would be more names to add to that list. The fairy tell love story that we feed all women is a topic for another blog, space, and time. For once I won’t go there.

However, on the anniversary of the assassination of one of the greatest leaders I have studied, regardless of race, I must interject that if I was to create a “type” list from which to measure potential suitors, Denzel Washington would not be the prototype. No disrespect at all to the beautiful brother, but I want more, a lot more. The man that we have come to know as Malcolm X means more to me, and most everyone I know, than words could truly express, which is an enormous feat for a writer. This considered, it is not actually his charisma, his ability to mentally and verbally dissect the dilemma of my people, his handsome smile, or his simple might that tops my list of characteristics to look for. My desires are much deeper.

Let’s begin with beginnings, with foundations, with the essence of brother Malcolm. We must never forget that, possibly, had it not been for another of our exceptional leaders, Marcus Garvey, we would not have had the good fortune to know Malcolm X. I would argue that Malcolm’s parents, who were Garveyites, instilled in him a respect for himself and his race that would have been difficult to produce from any other movement of that period. Malcolm watched his mother and father battle for a true emancipation, one that had not come with the proclamation perpetuated in 1865. That being said, I would like my future mate to have a strong foundation and understanding that we must work towards true freedom and equality, without limits and without a desire to fold.

Malcolm left his roots like a prodigal son after noting that fighting for freedom and justice saw his father murdered and his mother mentally and emotionally unstable as a result of her husband’s death. He was, at various points, thought to be a bookie, a pimp, a thief, a narcotics dealer and a narcotics abuser, among other indecent things, I’m sure. A low life for a high man, which unfortunately is sometimes how life plays out. But through his incarceration, and finding the Honorable Elijah Muhammad and the Nation of Islam, Malcolm evolved into what I can only describe as brilliance. A phoenix of sorts, rising from the ashes of what this country, many times, forces Black men to become. I desire that my mate be able to evolve, to grow, and to overcome adversity, as this life will surely be filled with it.

The dedication and loyalty that Malcolm showed his family and the Nation of Islam is, well, chilling. The thought of it, many times, gives me goose bumps, not in an eerie way mind you, but in a manner of sheer astonishment. It is often noted that as J Edgar Hoover and the FBI unlawfully tapped the conversations of Malcolm X, they never heard anything more than the brother solidifying thoughts and plans, and speaking with his wife about her and the children. It’s true, there is footage available of Dr. King that reveals some philandering that we would not like to acknowledge. Our leaders were human beings, in each and every sense of those words. And this is not to say that Malcolm was perfect, at various points his marriage to Betty Shabazz was in shambles, but over all he was purposeful, organized, and unrelenting in his passion, other qualities on my checklist.

The greatest lesson I have learned from the life of Malcolm X came from reading of his travels to Mecca to make Hajj, which is the fifth pillar of Islam, and should be carried out at least once in every Muslim’s life. Upon making Hajj, Brother Malcolm had to reconsider many of the things that he had been taught, and in turn had been teaching. Having one’s belief system challenged can be earth shattering, the courage to pick up the shattered pieces, renew, and rebuild, is another thing entirely. El Hajj Malik El Shabazz did precisely that. His break from the Nation was not merely a result of his contention with the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, but also because there were tenants of the religion that, upon experiencing Hajj, he could not adhere to. This caused immeasurable strife and ultimately death, but he had to live and teach his truth. The audacity of leaving what one knows is hindering one’s growth and beginning anew, this is what I desire in a partner. Courage under fire; the ability to walk and lead in truth, although living a lie would be easy and comfortable. Yes.

So you see, my checklist does not at all include spaces for income levels, six pack abdominals, and “good hair”. If I was to create a principle type by which I would measure the men I date, the list would not be centered around a famous actor. I’ve always been one to jump at the sun you see, one to desire the greatest among whatever is being compared. So I unequivocally choose Malcolm. Let’s see a brother write that book while deciding to direct women on what they should look for in a mate. Yup.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to celebrate the life and legacy our Black Shining Prince…

The great Ossie Davis eulogizes El Hajj Malik El Shabazz (audio/video) :

James Baldwin and Malcolm X debate being Black in America (audio, part 1 of 7)

Malcolm X discusses the white power structure at a roundtable disucussion.

Musical inspiration for blog: Lando by H.I.S.D Download it at: hisd.peaceuvmine.com

“Get ya space up cuz swag is so old” © H.I.S.D

During the hours of 8-4 I educate teenagers. Let’s be honest, educators as a whole are not known for their sense of style. Compassionate? Yes! Dedicated? Yes! Fashion plate? Not so much. Since last August I’ve worn a t-shirt and jeans everyday unless an important meeting popped up on my Outlook tasks…this my friends…must stop. Allow me to explain why…

“My fashion sense intense/take a glimpse into my consciousness.” © Scottie Spitten

Our sense of style is one of the only things over which we have complete control. It has the ability to communicate who you are before you even speak a word. It is an external message of your internal self esteem quotient. It is…quite simply…you expressed in a physical form. In this definition of style our choices are more important because they literally have the opportunity to dictate how we feel. I posit that style is more than a choice of clothes; it is choosing to be creatively, individually, and brazenly you without apology from your choice of vernacular to career to shoes to hairstyle and beyond. All of these factors contribute to the genuine article of personal style that we observe in each other every day.

“So individual /it’s all immaterial/You did it for yourself or just imitating videos?” © EQuality

If my theory is true it makes me wonder what we seek to express when we get dressed. I think I’m screaming overwhelmed! I can admit that these days I’m so busy trying my best in the mornings to get to work on time with plans, grades, and sanity intact that I forget about style and go for ease. However, this is going to change. Two weeks outside of my 28th birthday I’ve decided it’s time to woman up. I’m not talking about fulfilling some societal belief of how a woman should dress; I’m speaking of showcasing on the outside the passionate and genuine woman that is inside. It’s as simple as paying attention because every morning I have the choice to blend or not to blend. I’m choosing to be unapologetically CassandraDione and that is something that will turn heads simply because I’m the only me on earth. So this is for those of you that feel like you’re on point; keep on expressing yourself in the way only you can. This is for those of you in a rut; know that you are beautifully made and it’s all a matter of choice. Wherever you find yourself ask this very important question, “Does my style authentically communicate who I am?” If yes, welcome to lando!

Make today count you sexy beasts you,

CassandraDione
“ThaRocksFinest “

“Renaissance style like she Zora Neale Now/Young girls need to woman up baby show ‘em how.” © EQuality (THANKS FOR MY NEW STYLE MANTRA E!)

…all for changing the system from within. You know, the old reformation instead of revolution, or adjusting the program rather than replacing it all together. The problem is it seems like whenever someone decides to take the reformation route they start out with the best intentions of the community in mind, but as they begin to climb the corporate ladder they lose focus. There is no doubt that their elevation in socio-economic status has a lot to do with it cause lets face it if you go from making a 4 digit/low 5 digit salary to high 5 digit/6 digit salary and up then all of sudden Sam doesn’t seem as bad of a guy as he did when you were broke. And why would you want to bite the hand that feeds you? Examples of this are Ice Cube who went from “Amerikkka’s Most Wanted” to “We Be Clubbin” in less than a decade(although Cube returned to revolutionary rhetoric on his two last albums which were released independently), Reginald Hudlin BET’s President of Entertainment who’s friendship with his protege Boondock’s creator Aaron McGruder has been ruined by his decisions and actions(or lack of) at BET, and to an extent Tupac Shakur who started out with heavy revolutionary overtones and rhetoric on his debut and was national chair of The New Afrikan Panthers but was reduced to just another “nigga”(which he tried to conceptualize and redefine in a positive way) and his T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. movement simplified, derailed, and restratigized by the powers that be. And the list could go on, these are just some examples that come to mind right off top.This makes me wonder could a person really make revolutionary reforms from within the system. I don’t think it’s possible(unless the person is willing to risk their economic, political, social, and possibly physical life). The higher the level of success you reach in a profession the sharper your game has to become, and in order to trick those in power into believing that you are for their system you have to wear a mask for so long that by the time you are in a position to make siginifigant change what was once a mask is now who you have become. This is why I practice and preach the principles of self-determination and self-help, because I don’t expect any corporation and especially not the federal or even state governments to give my community the resources it needs to cure itself from infection and sustain itself after we are healthy again.

Consider this my 2009 wrap-up and New Year’s resolution packaged in one blog. This year I decided to not wait until January 1st to initiate some changes, and so far it’s working for me. I am a resolution writer if you have ever seen one. This process often commences after I purchase a brand new notebook and pen. You see, a writer’s year doesn’t begin until a blank notebook is purchased and properly broken in. Although the opposite seems to benefit me, I see the benefit in using certain events as opportunities for reflection. Let’s face it–birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries are often the only times that many of us sit and reflect on our lives. So, while a little reflection is always a good thing, don’t sit too long. Maybe your new year, new you, or new goal should start now…right now…without hesitation. I’m talking about being courageous – the only resolution worth making.

I believe my greatest gift as a writer is transparency. I share more of myself through words than you will ever get out of me in conversation. I do this for a very good reason…in written word there is no immediate judgment. I can post whatever I choose in a blog and you are free to comment. I am also free to delete that comment. I don’t write to start a riot and although I recognize that many more people would read this if I would; I am simply not that woman. I write to encourage self love and honest reflection. I write to share personal experiences that others will benefit from. I write, because I want the best for other people. It is really that simple. Starting now, I plan to be more courageous in what I write for you. I believe that change cannot and will not happen from a place of complacency and that there is no better vehicle for change than writing. I will cover everything from politics to pop culture. No boxes. No fluff pieces. It’s a challenge that I feel will improve the both of us…I hope we’re ready!

When you think about the conclusion of 2009 and your plan for 2010 I ask you to ponder two questions–Did I boldly and courageously live a life of my choosing? Did I use that freedom of choice to help someone else along the way? No matter the answer the beauty of life is that each day presents both opportunities. We have an amazing opportunity to choose the path of our lives. I’ve found that at the end of the years I chose poorly, I had a list full of things to “change” in the new year. This year my list simply says: choose wisely without fear because everything – even our reactions to unforeseen circumstances – is a matter of choice. I hope that your end of 2009 and beginning of 2010 are filled with making choices that will make you better.

Make today count loves

CassandraDione

PS – Come back next month loves! Let’s begin 2010 with some power…I’ll share with you the 12 books I plan to tackle next year. I am seeking quality over quanity! I hope we can tackle these together I’ll also discuss revolution (or lack thereof) via the internet…I mean really…how am I supposed to believe that you’re going to be major force in the struggle when your manifesto is relayed through your Facebook status. We don’t believe you…you need more people. (c) Hova

In the mornings, when I am on time, it is my job to force my female students out of the mirror and into their first period class. I often take a minute to observe them. Their purses are full of makeup, combs, brushes, perfume and glue – just in case a track slips at some point during the day – a girl has to stay ready right? Through the sea of tracks, wigs, and broken strands of relaxed hair, I look at their faces. Each one of these young women is beautiful and smart. I make a point of telling them this everyday but it is no match for their Achilles heel – their hair.

One of my favorite pictures of myself as a young child was taken right after my hair was pressed. For the longest time I adored it because I felt that I looked pretty. It is that simple when you’re a child – to be pretty is to have it all. I remember our weekend – long process very vividly. Friday nights were for washing and braiding. On Saturday my sisters and I would have our turn in “the chair”. This is where the magic happened. After an hour of holding my ear, tilting my head to the side, and being popped with a comb for jumping when the hot comb heated up the grease on my scalp, I emerged. Finally. Pretty. While contemplating writing this I tried to track where I learned this concept that natural hair was unattractive. The answer has a great deal to do with the most important male figure in a lady’s life.

We waited anxiously for my father to see our hair on pressing weekends. He was the one person that I was sure would tell me I looked beautiful after the painful ritual. In many ways, it made the time in the chair so worthwhile when he would compliment us after our transformation. Don’t mistake me, he didn’t believe that his girls were unattractive in their natural state but his preference was evident. It was clear to me even then that I could garner the attention I wanted, that is the confirmation of my beauty, when my hair was done. Even now when I return to Little Rock he often mentions that although he loves me just the same, he wouldn’t mind if I returned to my former Dark and Lovely days. The problem is I haven’t looked that way for longer than a month in ten years and I don’t intend on going back.

I “went natural” for the first time at 18. As a freshman at Florida A & M University I was ripe with the worst kind of afrocentrism – the self righteous kind. I boldly denounced all that was European with a wrapped head and incense in hand. I walked around in my natural state looking down on all the sistas that used “creamy crack” to define their beauty. This all changed when I returned to Little Rock and my loving high school sweetheart literally could not look at me because of my natural state. At home, I was simply the girl that came back with the nappy hair, no longer worried about my queendom, I relaxed it. Both of these choices were made with the wrong intention – to impress or appease another person.

Since then I’ve done it all: braids, afros big and small, locs, wigs, weaves, and relaxers of the lye and no lye variety. Each time looking for that magical style that would give me the elusive acceptance I sought as a child. The goal was always to look pretty by someone else’s standards. Now at 27 my goal is to get acquainted with my core. It is a daily process to stop living with the assumption that I am only beautiful when I am not natural. I know there are women that will tell you they never have a day in which they want to go back. I can honestly say I’m not one of those women. This process has not been easy for me and that is because, for the first few years, my intention was to reach a standard of beauty that I would never achieve. It is impossible to feel beautiful when you don’t truly believe that you are beautiful and although that is a general statement it is no less true.

I am aware of the hazards of straightening my hair and they play a major part in my decision to remain natural. There are more important reasons for my choice. My hair is not necessarily a statement of my blackness. I don’t believe I have to declare that in any way for anyone. My pride in my heritage is evident. My hair is for me. It is a choice to actively break away from a standard of beauty that I may not have created but totally bought into. Every day I step out of my comfort zone and become more confident in who I am by choosing to go against what I’ve assumed my whole life makes me pretty. It radiates through my spirit making me more bold, self aware, and open to give to those around me. This is about choice. We have the choice to say, whether relaxed or natural, this is who I am and I believe in her wholeheartedly.

Make today count my loves

CassandraDione aka ThaRocksFinest

It seems to be engrained in my soul to seek inspiration. For as long as I can remember I’ve kept quotes, songs, books, and even people around me that inspire me to be my best. To that end, I’ve decided to share one of those things with you every month in a series called, The BEAUTIFUL Ones. It is my hope that they spark within you a flame…so much so…that you share it with someone else. Let’s keep it alive shall we? Now for my first edition, I’d like to introduce you to two beautiful black men I know and love…Mr. Jackie Thomas and Mr. Shon E. Dorsey.

At a launch party for a dear friend and his business partner’s educational consulting firm, I signed a volunteer card for a summit to be held exactly a year later. I thought I knew what I was in for, envelope stuffing, maybe a meeting or two, and I’d support a friend in the process…I couldn’t have been more incorrect. Allow me to explain how two gentlemen, one volunteer card, and one slip of paper in the wallet of a visionary changed my life and the lives of hundreds of students.

Jackie Thomas Jr. is the man of vision behind the Foundation for Student Leadership and Success. Although becoming the Founder and CEO of his own organization at such a young age is impressive, what is most remarkable is his passion for education. In his wallet, Mr. Thomas carries a slip of paper with the following inscription, “Equality and access to higher education for everyone”. This statement is not simply a wish or even a goal; it is his life’s mission. His passion for his work is evident to anyone that engages in a conversation with him about the educational system. This organization is not a key to entrepreneurship, a hobby, or simply a “good idea” for him. If Mr. Thomas has his way, he will change the educational system as we know it.

The Foundation’s mission is to develop mature, college-ready student leaders who are prepared to effect positive change in their respective communities. Each year, the Foundation hosts the BLACKE Summit Weekend. This three-day event is open to high school students across the state of Texas and provides leadership training, mentorship, team building, and community service projects. The goal is for every high school to send five students with leadership potential, and the Summit will return them equipped to effect change in their schools.

Mr. Thomas believes in the power of teamwork. To that end, he surrounds himself with people that share his enthusiasm and belief in education and access for all. The Foundation’s Executive Director, Mr. Shon E. Dorsey, is one of these vital people. Mr. Dorsey has dedicated his talents for the past two years to the development of sustainable and effective programming for the organization. An educator at heart, much of his satisfaction stems from the success of the students he serves. Their partnership is an artful balance of knowledge, professionalism, and friendship; their synergy radiates through all of the organization’s ventures.

In a time when the news about the educational system is depressing at best, it is simple to overlook those who are simply doing the work. This work, identifying a problem, painstakingly researching its cause and effect, and devising a plan to solve it is not for everybody. It takes a sacrificial heart and a genuine belief in the goodness of people. In the case of these gentlemen, it also requires patience, compassion, and a pure heartfelt desire to see change happen in their lifetime. They are a constant source of inspiration for me because of their unyielding commitment. I have never witnessed anything like their ability to turn a vision into reality. At the risk of sounding biased, I believe wholeheartedly that this organization will be a catalyst for change for many years to come. For this and many other reasons I will always support the Foundation for Student Leadership and Success. I encourage you, that is, if you want to see our youth make a change for the better, to do the same.

The 2009 BLACKE Summit Weekend will be held at the University of Houston’s – Main Campus on October 2-4th. There is still time to sign up to volunteer or sponsor a student. For only $50, you can ensure that a Houston-area student is exposed to the tools that will help create a domino effect in our communities. Join these gentlemen in being a part of the solution.

For more information about the Foundation for Student Leadership and Success:
www.leadandsucceed.org

To volunteer or sponsor a student for the 2009 BLACKE Summit Weekend:
www.blackesummitweekend.com

Make Today COUNT! ,

CassandraDione